Know What You Want? Ask For It.
I have pretty healthy success in getting what I want, but it’s not because I am petulant, or a bully, or manipulative. I just know how people work.
Her journey to failure
I had a conversation today with a fellow online entrepreneur who I respect greatly. We were chatting about business and catching up, generally.
She said to me: “I want to know… how do you ask for things? You just seem to know how to get what you want.”
I thought about this for a minute. She told me she had everything else down pat, but when it came to asking for it, she clammed up and just wasn’t sure how to follow through.
Now, this lady? I’ve got huge respect for her. She knows what she wants. She is one of the hardest working entrepreneurs out there. She’s disciplined, pays attention to every detail and has absolutely no ego.
All the right pieces are in place. She knows what she needs. Now, she’s just got to strengthen her closing muscles. Whether that’s closing a deal, asking for partnership, asking for a referral, a testimonial, or a favour.
I have pretty healthy success in getting what I want, but it’s not because I am petulant, or a bully, or manipulative. I just know how people work.
Here are the three things I know about asking for something:
1. Everyone has something that they value more than giving you what you want, and it usually isn’t a thing. It’s always how they feel. So figure out how they want to feel and give them that first. Maybe they are particularly happy to feel like an expert, or like they belong. Don’t be insincere, but aim to set the stage.
2. Always make it their idea. The power of suggestion is a helpful skill to hone. I’ve been known to craft a conversation before I even go into it to ensure it goes in the way I am leaning.
3. Everyone likes to help. Provided you’re not a freeloader, and that you have solid grounding in your relationship, everyone is happy to help. 98% of the time, they don’t know what you want or need. We are terribly inwardly focused creatures, so don’t expect others to read your mind.
You just have to ask.
What’s the worst that will happen? They say no. And then you have your answer.
But, more often than that – you’ll get what you asked for.
Tell me…
What do you really want right now? Practice asking for it in the comments.
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